Gratitude
by TJR05
Summary: Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...Carter's thank you to John for bringing Taylor back. Boring summary as usual...


AN: Just a short one-shot (my first ever!) about the scene from last weeks POI when Taylor is returned to Carter. I couldn't help myself from writing this, it was just swimming around in my head. Anyway hope you guys enjoy it!

Thank you Maddsgirl75 for the beta work, you always make my work better and clearer! So glad to have your eyes!

_"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."_

_-Melodie Beattle_

Gratitude

Beyond gratitude was what she felt in that moment when she saw Taylor running towards her. Her heart grew in size as she embraced her son and held him to her, tears which she was afraid to spill earlier in fear of how weak she'd look were now clouding her vision. She didn't know whether or not she'd survive the loss of Taylor, but she was thanking every high power for not having to find that out. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, not realizing just how soft her eyes looked at that moment. The nervous and relieved laugh bubbled out from her. "Good to know you keep your promises." She wanted to embrace him then, tell him thank you over and over again for what he'd brought back to her.

He smiled then and she knew that she could trust him with anything. He'd just proven to her how much she really could trust him and once again she was indebted to him. She couldn't recall if she'd ever repaid him for saving her life...oh yeah, right, she got him shot.

"I told you I'd get him back." Something in his eyes told her that he had meant it, he'd kept his word and now she had nothing to offer him but a weak yet sincere thanks. She felt him squeeze her hand and walk away. The touch igniting a thud in her chest. This was the second time he'd touched her in the last twenty four hours both times just a brush of his fingers, but it left her feeling things. Embracing Taylor again, she laughed out loud freely. "I'm so glad you're okay baby."

Taylor smiled into her shoulders. "Me too. John kicked ass!"

She pulled away from him, a smirk playing at her lips. "I'm sure...come on let's get some breakfast."

She smiled at her son as he described everything John did; it was obvious that her son was smitten. She looked at her mug and smiled at the thought of Taylor liking John. He was a pain in the ass, but she had always secretly liked him, even more so after they'd met, after she realized just how sincere and kind he was. She never really doubted that he was inately a good man even though sometimes the things he did had serious consequences. It was when she was hoping that John would do whatever was in his power to get her son back that she realized-she had become a hypocrite. She didn't care, illegal or not, she just wanted Taylor back safe.

But she was also worried for him, not because if something happened to him she might not get Taylor back, but because she genuinely worried about _his _well being. She had been angry yes, but he had a way of getting under skin and changing her mind and influencing her. When Elias was spouting all that stuff about her being alone, she looked at the bag of guns John had given her (and was reminded that he was fighting for her and her son. No, she definitely wasn't alone.)

"I gotta say mom you hang out with some cool people." Said Taylor.

Carter laughed. "I can be cool and still be your mom."

She saw it then, that look he got when he was worried for her, about her, and it occurred to her that her son might be stronger than she thought. He didn't seem scared by what happened, almost as if she'd prepared him for it. She felt both proud and sad that her actions brought such dangers to him. Then came what she expected. "Are you okay, Ma?"

She took his hands then and looked into his eyes, "I'm fine, I have someone watching my back."

Taylor smiled. "John's a good guy to have watching your back."

She smiled at her son again but said nothing more because he was right. When she'd tucked him in like he was a child and finally had a moment to herself she stood against his door and cried quietly. What would she have done? She couldn't think of it, the thought made her stomach turn. She thought about all that she'd lost and none of it could compare to losing Taylor. She thought of John and how she could properly thank him. It wasn't a situation where you write a 'Thank You' card and send a basket of fruit or something but she had made up her mind that she would thank him again.

The next night she had showered and texted him to meet her at Carl Schurz park in East River drive at about 10. They had met there a few times, it was a nice little park that was essentially Gracie Mansion's back yard but after about seven in the evening it was pretty secluded...maybe a random dog with its owner out for nightly business. She had taken a nap earlier then ordered dinner for her and Taylor before leaving him watching something on TV.

She wondered about what she'd do, what she'd say him. She wasn't really sure why she asked him to meet her other than that she wanted to see him. She got there at ten 'till which gave her a chance to take in the cool spring air while she thought about everything that had happened. They now had Elias, they actually got him and her son was safe, and it was all possible because of her not so legal alliance with John.

She had known that things were changing within her and between them. The look he'd given her when Szymanski was lying on the floor after being shot said it all, but at that moment she was just too angry at him and herself to acknowledge it. She'd ignored his calls and texts, and yet when she was in danger he was there. He hadn't abandoned her. He was always there ready to help, ready to listen, ready for anything.

So when he stepped up next to her, and said "Detective?"

She turned to him and embraced him. He stilled, probably from her out of character behavior, but within seconds his arms were around her. He smelled woodsy, and strong. She buried her face in his coat and whispered. "Thank you." She'd wanted to do this when he brought back a part of her in one piece. She'd wanted to jump into his arms and rejoice in the victory they'd claimed together but there were boundaries in their acquaintance. And she couldn't do it in front of Taylor, he had been traumatized enough have to witness something like that. But it should have been natural for any mother to hug the man who bought her son back from harm without a scratch.

His arms tightened around her and he found himself smiling. He never imagined Carter hugging him, but he supposed that he would've done the same if his son had been returned to him from someone like Elias. "I told you Joss, you're not alone. I meant it."

She leaned back from him, but her arms were still around him as she opened her eyes and looked at him and smiled, "I know. Neither are you."

He smiled at her, her gratitude would never be enough for all that he'd done for her, but she thought she could try by letting him know that he wasn't alone either.

The End.


End file.
